Everyone has seen the Snuggie commercials by now. But I was sure, when I started to see these commercials all over around Christmas time, that this was going to be a complete dud. How could this be a success? Look at it:
It reminds me of the 30 Rock episode where Tracy Jordan makes The Tracy Jordan Meat Machine because bread is so hard to use ("Meat is the new bread"). What kind of idiot has difficulty using a blanket?
Well, apparently there are a lot of people who don't think a blanket with sleeves is called a sweatshirt. This article has revealed the genius of the Snuggie to me. They are totally fucking sold out of these abominations. They have already, in three months, sold over four million Snuggies. Who is buying these things? And why the fuck didn't I think of this. Oh, wait, I did.
Honestly, I think I invented the Snuggie years ago, and am seriously considering suing them. There is a photo of me, that my mother took, at about age six, wearing her bath robe backwards. Shazam, that's where good ideas come from right there. Cause let's face it, a wearable blanket is really just a robe on backwards. Look at it. I'm about to be rich, you can touch me now.